Why do I have a diet/running blog?

I wasn't always fat.

Growing up I was average size, looking back I see that now. However thanks to my stepmother, my self image was in the trash. From a young age I was told just how fat I was, how my butt was too big, I ate too much, etc. It didn't help that I had a stepsister who was as skinny as a rail. This was the start of my weight issues.

My senior year of high school I stopped eating. I was kicked out of my house and I just didn't care. I would pick on a bagel during lunch so my friends thought I ate but really it was nothing. I ended up sick but I was successful in my goal of losing weight though I still thought I was fat. Seeing pictures now of how clothes started to hang on me, I can't believe no one noticed. Or maybe they did and didn't say anything I'll never know.

College years, I didn't take care of myself but I made it a point not to gain the freshman 15(20, 30). Again, I made myself sick and my father made me go to the doctor to figure out why. I knew why, I hardly ate, worked out all the time, smoked and drank too much.

Finally in 1998, I decided I needed to take care of my body. The best I could do at least back then while still having fun ;) that year I met my husband who loved me for who I was and who started to make me love me. I left NJ in 1999 and moved to VA with my husband (still boyfriend back then.) Being away from the stresses of my stepmother, I started my love for food. I loved to cook and bake. I loved trying restaurants with my husband. and slowly I started to gain weight.

In 2001 my husband proposed and then all of my self image issues came back. OMG, I'M FAT!!! I tried to lose weight on my own and just couldn't. I tried diet pills, nothing. Then I tried weight watchers. I couldn't believe it. It worked! For our wedding I was back down to 129 and happy. However once the honeymoon was over, the weight slowly came back and when we moved to the beach I realized just how bad it was again. By the time reality hit me, I was pregnant. Thankfully I only gained 16 lbs during the nine months and kept my weight steady until I quit breastfeeding. The problem with that was I didn't stop eating like I was breastfeeding so my weight increased even more. That was 2004

Fast Forward to 2009.
Over the last 1.5 years I started running which helped keep additional weight at bay but didn't really help me lose any. I decided I was just going to be comfortable being fat. Yeah right. That lasted less than a year. That's why I joined WW the second week of 2009.